alt-VDay

Hello, friend. 

Does Valentine’s Day give you the ick? I get it, it’s a corny (and potentially triggering) holiday, but it doesn’t have to be. Whether or not I’m partnered, I like an alt-Valentine’s Day, to subversively reclaim it. 

When I was a kid, my single mom used to make my brother and me Valentine’s Day breakfasts that were beautiful. It clearly wasn’t romantic, it was just an expression of love. And there are a lot of reasons and ways to love, not least of which is self-respect, even self-celebration. 

Mix it up, make the holiday mean whatever you want it to. One year I sent myself gorgeous flowers including a self-love note, as a reminder that I’m pretty great. Another year I co-threw a non-cheesy Valentine’s Day cocktail party in Manhattan—friends, lovers, couples, throuples and singles all welcome. Add champagne and stir. 

This year I’m making analog, home-made Valentines for my guy and girlfriends. I’ve busted out the construction paper, scissors and glue sticks. I’m not usually very crafty but what the heck, why not do something to celebrate love and friendship? Some of the messages include: 

• I love you more than guacamole. 

• I love you more than guac AND chips.

• You’re more fun than a sugar rush and a dance party.

• Don’t forget you’re foxy.

• I love you more than my outdoor shower. 

I’m inspired by a friend of mine in Venice, CA who used to get a bunch of red, heart helium balloons and drive around to her friends places on Valentine’s Day. She’d tie one to your porch or front door. It was a lovely, mysterious surprise to come home to. 

[ Miscellaneous photos of some of my V Days past ]

Swapping surprises is another way I’m celebrating this week. I have an elderly neighbor who lives on her own. Each spring her lilac bushes go gangbusters, and last year I casually commented to her how gorgeous they were. The next afternoon I came home to a big bunch of lilac branches on my doorstep. No note, none needed. I knew exactly who they were from. A great reminder on what it means to be neighborly. So I’ll be returning the favor this winter, popping a home-crafted Valentine into her literal mailbox. 

Why not use your creativity to reimagine Feb. 14th and make it your own? Because everyone deserves a little love, especially you (and no, you won’t become a narcissist). Here are some journaling activities to glow-up your love factor, whether or not you’re rolling solo. Consider them my Valentine to you. 🤍

In Swellness, 

Laura